To blog or not to blog

Wrong de Silva.

2011-03-11T23:06:00.000-08:00

Ireland captain says umpire de Silva got it wrong - I would say Poterfield got it wrong...

Asoka always gets everything right...It is just that the world thinks he is wrong, but he is always right. Confused ? think about it this way, Asoka got it right as usual, because he never gets anything right, it is just that when he gets it right mortals think it is wrong. So, 'Captians', next time Asoka gives a right decision don't complain, just break TVs because you are wrong and he is right.

And as John Wayne would have said "that will be the day!" - if he gets one wrong.

BCCI light presents - Real men of genius

2010-12-17T03:48:00.001-08:00

Today we salute you, Mr. really bad batsman outside the sub continent .
You make the pitch look like a mine field, until the opposition walks across barefoot.
You make cricket look like a dangerous sport, dangerous than cave diving.
The way you play pace and bounce, you can repel anyone, from taking up the game - especially young kids.
So crack open a lager and enjoy the hosts bat, conquistadors of flat tracks.
Or make that a 32-year old scotch bottle and invoice BCCI, together you put the "lessness" in "Shamelessness"

Network, not social

2010-12-04T22:37:00.000-08:00

Just can't get past the irony of having walls in a social network.

Clean cheat

2010-06-09T03:58:00.000-07:00

Modi gives clean chit to Pawar.
Pawar gives clean chit to Praful.
Manohar gives clean chit to Amin.
Congress gives clean chit to NCP.
Gadkari is still cleaning up BJP, so no clean chits are being given out.
Chidambaram never gives any clean chit, only wears clean dhoti and shirt.
Srinivasan is powerful enough to give himself a clean chit.
Tharoor and Modi are out so they won't get one.

What better than a clean chit to clean up a crippling mess.

or did they mean clean cheat?

Please bring me my wine.

2010-06-06T00:03:00.000-07:00

There she stood on the desk, such a lovely face.
God knows how she got up there, my 19-month old daughter.
Her mission my MP3 player.

"You can sit on the desk but you can't stand on it " I called from far away

"I am not programmed to obey, you can check out anytime you like" was her reply, though not in as many words.

We are livin' it up her way.

This is heaven and this is hell.

Ticket to Trivandrum

2010-05-28T10:00:00.000-07:00

Uneasiness follows me from the minute I wake up.
The newspaper looks blank, not even ads to be seen.
There is a hollowness in my stomach but no sign of hunger.
Time seems to slow down, no matter how many times I check the watch.
Elevated heartbeat feels normal.

It has to be the day I have a ticket to Trivandrum.

A day that has come and gone numerous times but nothing ever seems to change, apart from the number of 'chargers' I own.

Paper trial

2010-05-18T02:57:00.000-07:00

In the last one month or so the Board of Control for Cricket in India has dished out more show cause notices than the total number of boundaries hit in all the IPLs put together. First I thought show-cause was as simple as it reads, one has to show what caused one to do what the other thinks is improper.

So logically, I thought, Modi would take a piece of paper, write covetousness and lordliness on it and send it to BCCI and having understood the cause BCCI would reinstate him.

But Modi's reasons ran into tens and thousands of pages, a reply so voluminous that half of what is left of the rain forest will now have to be cut down to make up for the paper wasted, a kind gesture to UNEP for all the support during IPL-3, I suppose.

The expense of coughing up the reply will run into millions of dollars but that hardly matters, after all we are trying to find the millions that ran away.

Modi's legal team might have managed to stun BCCI and the public at large but I think they missed the point and for me it became clear that show-cause was not as simple as it sounded.

They missed the point because, If the intention was to get Modi reinstated, they have now given the BCCI so much material that it will take at least 5 years for someone to read it fully and a reply from BCCI could take even more time because they are sure to forget the beginning when they get to the last of the 15000 pages.

And with the Indian team scheduled to tour many more countries with pubs, I am sure, there will be many more show-cause notices dispatched adding to the confusion and delay.

Having been enlightened on the importance of show-cause, I decided to look it up on the web and Wikipedia says it is "a type order that requires one or more of the parties to a case to justify, explain, or prove something to the court"

That actually explained it for me, don't we all know that this dram will turn into an unexplained and unproven mess which will have many justifications without any real justice being delivered.

With seven players set to reply to show cause notices in the near future, God save the rain forest or please give them the wisdom to keep it simple.

"one-too-many", "fans worry too much about winning" ? may be

Designer prosecutor

2010-05-06T06:54:00.000-07:00

We have a verdict and a right one at that, I would like to believe.

I sincerely hope that the verdict will put a lot of ghosts in a lot of peoples mind, to rest. I though, have a new ghost to worry about...

The memory of the public prosecutor coming out of court, after the verdict, fingers pointing towards the sky signaling victory and a file with a cover which had a photo of Kasav and a picture of a hangman's noose morphed together. Why this ugly celebration? I fail to see the brilliance a prosecutor would have to crop-up to get someone convicted and sentenced to death for killing numerous innocent people, especially when the killer has been photographed and video taped committing the crime.

The design work too was shabby, one which only compliments Mr.Prosecutor's pathetic display of victory. Probably I felt sick because I know that numerous other 'accused' have walked scot free because the prosecution failed to convince the judge and I wonder what the cover would look like if the "designer" in Mr Prosecutor was asked to design covers for them.

Ah I forgot, there is no CCTV footage of them committing the crime, how could he design a cover for them or for that matter get a conviction.

That's all, Your Honour.

Sources have confirmed...

2010-04-27T00:47:00.000-07:00

"Sources" are a great asset to this country and I wholeheartedly thank the news channels for enlightening me on the abundance of sources in India. Apparently there are two kinds of sources, the one that breaks the news and then, there are the onces that confirm the news.

Sources are rarely seen in public, they appear when the animals living in the news jungles smell blood-money and they disappear without a trace when their thirst is quenched . Most of the sources, I am being told, are harmless but there are some very dangerous onces as well, like the ones that brings down MOS' and IPL Commissioners.

Don't be surprised if tomorrow a source confirms that "Anil is importing drilling rigs masked as cheerleaders to drill for sources and Mukesh has approached the Supreme Court of India asking for a stay on drilling because Bhai in his will had said that only Mukesh can dig India."

"Anil, if he wants can dig for sources that confirm the sources and not the actual sources."

I am in a mood for hunting, wish I had a few sources and an Article-32...

An Australian summer

2010-02-01T03:20:00.000-08:00

Ponting goes after another short delivery, and guess what, he gets a top edge...

Tony Greig - "oh it's rolling down towards mid-on, wonder why Mohammad Yousuf is looking up in the air trying to catch it"

Bill Lawry - Actually Tony it is up in the air and it's flying down to fine leg.

Richie Benaud - "Some of us look forward, some of us look back and there are those of us who look up". "In 1869 there was this chap, who's name I don't remember...

Tony Greig - Cut the crap Richie this is serious, "then why is Yousuf looking up in the air?"

Ian Healy - "What a Ripper"

Richie Benaud - Back in 1870 I knew few players who would call it "A beauty".

Tony Greig - Bill "I can't see the ball, did someone catch it"

Bill Lawry - Well Tony, thanks for the honesty - "Pakistan are fielding, balls are not supposed to be caught, they are supposed to be eaten. We will have to wait for the replays to see if someone ate it"

Richie Benaud - Surely a cricket ball is supposed to be caught and not eaten... Back in 1871, I knew this player who would have caught it neatly, by neatly I mean marvelously clean.

Tony Greig - Then why is Yousuf running around, trying to catch it at mid-on if the ball went down to fine leg?

Richie Benaud - "Probably he is still thinking of catching the first ball of the over that was hit to mid-on". "Late-by-5-balls" is the word, I suppose"

When was the last time you did something for the first time

2009-03-31T23:08:00.000-07:00

First Ice cream

Hello new me! - First hair cut

Hello life - First taste of rice

My first train trip

First roll over

I am the answer...

2009-03-31T03:49:00.000-07:00

What do you call A Ruminant, which happens to be the editor-in-chief of a News channel And Barring a miracle will Gleefully Ooze out Systematic Waste when A Monitor Is switched on?

Thanks, but no help needed

2009-02-16T03:30:00.000-08:00

Couple of weeks back I was unfortunate enough to watch the latest version of 'The Day the Earth Stood Still'. A terrible effort that made up for wasted talent by the lack of common sense, resulting in a farce which would have made ICC proud. Wonder if they will pass a resolution at the next AGM taking ownership?

The movie gave me ample reason to liberate rum from the bottle and the rum as usual made me think. Each one of us is different from the other, aren't we?

For a start, apart from twins, each of us look different. 6.80 billion of us and can't find a replica!

Some think before leaping, others leap before thinking, many of us don't leap and a lot of us don't think. Some drink vodka like water, others drink water like vodka. Some of us are fascinated by what a ball does after pitching and others are fascinated by the fact that some of us actually think that the ball hitting the ground before getting to the hitter is fascinating.

The list, as you know is endless but one thing is for sure, Earth will never stand still just because some alien shows up and tells us about the damage we are doing, , as if we don't know. It will only stand still the day we destroy it completely, towards which we are working together, all 6.80 billion of us and we are almost there.

And to the aliens - we will do what we want with our place, why don't you just stick to moral policing and burning underwear?

Thanks for the memories

2008-12-17T02:54:00.000-08:00

For eight long years the world has listened to him, not knowing, whether to laugh or cry. In 2004 he said "Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we." And he kept his word, for that and that alone he needs a pat on the back, possibly a hard one.

From reading books upside down, to happily playing the guitar while people were drowning, to putting 'Pope' and 'awesome' in a single line, to making sure that the imaginary WMDs were not hidden inside Sadam's mouth, to tap dancing, to killing Mandela, to dodging shoes thrown at him by the people, for the people, of the democracy he created. He has done it all

Thankfully his era of stupidity will come to an end in less than 30 days and mankind can breathe a sigh of relief but he can leave with his head held high for history will pen him down with Gandhi. “Generations to come will scarce believe that such a one as this ever in flesh and blood walked upon this earth.” Einstein once said about Gandhi, it couldn't be truer in George W Bush's case.

Cricket memories

2008-12-16T03:07:00.000-08:00

Reading Rudyard Kipling's line "There's a breathless hush in the close tonight. Ten to make and the match to win" took me back to my playing days, don't ask me why. I know that those days are over and will never come back, but the memories

Of half-century dreams and first ball ducks.
Of massive sixes and elegant fours.
Of diving catches and the smell of antiseptic.
Of paddy fields, Coconut groves and School ground pitches.
Of cricket nick names and carpenter-turned-Botham demi-gods.
Of Coconut-palm bats and banana-trunk pads.
Of LBW decisions and umpires running for life.
Of cycling 25 kms and oppositions not turning up.
Of tournaments won and beers that followed.
Of 6 days of anticipation and rainy Sundays.
Of hands that retrieve tennis balls from the drainage, for the game must go on.

and much more, will stay with me till time runs me OUT.

License to die

2008-12-04T02:30:00.000-08:00

India is on the verge of conquering the moon but the poor cops on the streets who are fighting well trained terror kids are still roaming around with World War II guns. Clearly it's a no win situation as the CCTV footage of what happened at the Chhatrapati Shivaji Terminus showed us.

Terrorists armed with AK 47s and sub-machine guns that are capable of firing the second bullet before the first one hits the target vs .303s that takes ages and probably few prayers to fire a bullet. Surely there can only be one winner. And if you are lucky enough to escape the barrage from the other side there is always the chance that you could be killed by your own gun exploding on squeezing the trigger.

On that fateful night a brave RPF policeman had to borrow a gun from his colleague to take a shot at a terrorist, he missed and before the next round could be fired the terrorist walked away and went on to kill three of the best officers of Mumbai police. In hindsight had he been armed with something better, those lives plus many others could have been saved.

It is high time that we take notice of the poor sods fighting a modern war with ancient guns and arm them better, at least to an extend that they get to fire a second round before their license to die is evoked.

Terrorists without guns

2008-12-02T23:43:00.000-08:00

What did not surprise me was the fact that a small boat and a GPS system were more than enough to beat our coast guard and navy.
What did not surprise me was the fact that there are cops willing to fight fully armed terrorists with bare hands.
What did not surprise me was the fact that someone could remote control few kids to hold a nation hostage for more than three days.
What did not surprise me was the fact that the news channels provided the terrorists with the background score which was the only accessory they forgot to bring.
What did not surprise me was the fact that a son of Kerala, living in Bangalore smiled his way to the other world, trying to liberate Mumbai, when India called. (In a sense an answer with blood to those who want Maharashtra clean of Indians)

What did surprise me though was the fact that the politicians triumphed where the terrorists failed, by morally weakening a nation without firing a single bullet.

So what are you trying to say?

2008-11-17T01:44:00.000-08:00

A Champion bowler who throws but still gets hit. A Champion batsman who can swing hard but can only get the ball away to midwicket even with an iron bat. A Champion fielder who can only get to the ball on the bounce even with rockets (the size of a space shuttle) attached to his shoulder. A Champion keeper who fails to stand his ground while collecting the throw and then runs in and jumps high (unnecessarily) in a effort to smash the stumps when he could have hit it from where he was.

Even if we made sense of all that, for Cricket's sake "Where is the Champion non-striker"?

Champions League Twenty20, starts 3rd December - Don't miss it

Will it come?

2008-11-05T03:40:00.001-08:00

Lot has changed since my last post...

I have become a father to a lovely baby girl and on the lighter side America has elected its first African-American President.

“Change has come to America,” said Barack Obama in his victory speech. Indeed it has come and every American should be proud of what they have achieved as I am proud of what I have achieved.

Change minus 'Akshay Kumar running after cola bottles and Salman Khan dancing shirtless and poleless' is inevitable.

Even James Bond has changed, from your average spy to someone who can sell anything from digital cameras to watches.

Surely one day it will come to India (won't it?) and hopefully then, Uma Bharathi will learn that it is not a good thing to slap your party secretary in front of the cameras and the News channels will understand that Barack Obama's victory is much more significant than rev Jesse James and Oprah Winfrey shedding tears on hearing about Obama's victory.

Poet-less me

2008-09-08T00:31:00.000-07:00

Last time I tried my hand at poetry, my wife read out a rhyming legal notice which was obviously better than my poem. I thought it was really poetic of her to have one ready.

The fact of the matter is that I would love to write a poem but the truth of the matter is that, I can't.

because ...

When I see the sun set, all i can imagine, is the dark golden color of rum.
When I hear about deforestation, all i can imagine, is oak barrels full of rum.
When I see the rain drops hit the glass window, all i can imagine, is the bubbles that arise when you mix soda and rum.
When I hear the sea roar, all i can imagine, is a silent pomfret curry.
When I see people struggling for their daily bread, all i can imagine, is the sleep that rum gives.
When I see vast lakes, all i can imagine, is prawns garlic butter fry.
When I see smoke come out of exhaust pipes, all I can imagine, is smoking some serious stuff.
When I see vast dew-filled meadows, all I can imagine, is the missing cow and Koshy's beef-fry.
When I hear the quietness of darkness, all i can imagine, is going to bed.

If I ever see the sun rise, I guess, I could write a poem about it, otherwise, poetry is not for me.

The best I can do is, imagine, sipping whisky for a change.

e-mail to almighty

2008-09-01T04:20:00.000-07:00

The nuclear deal can wait, what India needs urgently is

Some Prakash without karat.
A Maya without vathi.
Some Mamta without banerjee.
The return of Krishna without adwani or Gandhi without sonia.
A Government without coalition.
Praveen without togadia.
A King and not a singh.
Religions not re-legions.
A Parliament not Parlia-mint.

And an Indian without politics at 7 Race Course Road.

Lost Kingdom

2008-08-29T03:56:00.000-07:00

Every mango tree, papaya tree and guava tree had our names written on it.
Every tender-coconut we stole tasted like tender-coconut.
Every overflowing river and pond were ours to swim across.
Every frog we caught was tastier than the previous one. (Fried of course)
Every water-filled paddy field was ours to play football on.
Every cricket match we won was celebrated like a conquest and every match we lost was due to the umpires.
Every fall, every broken bone, every cut, every scratch was a trophy.
Every exam-season was eagerly awaited for with it came the holidays.
Every fight we had was due to a difference of opinion and nothing else.
Home was the jail where we ate and slept and parents were lucky if they saw us once in five days.

We did everything but nothing.

We were, in every sense, Kings, within a 3-mile radius.

Red or Blue? - The choice is yours

2008-08-28T00:31:00.000-07:00

They say 'Marriages are made in heaven' and like Morpheus, I believe that the statement is true but the only reason I can think of why it is so, is that, when you make that fatal mistake you don't have to wait for a ride.

Marriage is full of irony and it starts with the knot. You tie the knot on someone else's neck and you are happy about it, you even dish out large sums of money to celebrate the day and then hang for the rest of your life.

Marriage is the new beginning and you are happy about it, but seldom do people foresee that it is the beginning of the end of life as they know it.

Marriage is a chance to look at the world from a different perspective. Lying on a roofless pink Cadillac and looking at the world from a different perspective while driving will seem like a better option before the next full moon.

Soon you will be full of 'remember'. There is no present tense and the future is not in your hands so like a dead fish you swim with the stream.

Remember the trip you used to take every summer with your friends, well last year was the last time you did that.

Remember getting home late and conning your parents into believing that you got a flat tyre. Try that again and you will understand how the tyre feels when the nail goes in.

Remember loving the laziness that crept in on a rainy Sunday, well that is the perfect day to buy fresh vegetables.

Remember the bulk order when it's time for the last order. Now that you are not single you order a single drink and nothing more or you will remember the day for the rest of your life.

At some point you will even be as good as Don Bradman, like people remember the four runs he never scored you will be remembered for the four things you forgot out of a list of hundred.

Change is inevitable. Sadly, there is no Morpheus to hand out the pills so you are left with only a few options. You resist unwanted changes without fear and never give up, you fight long and hard and then give up or you give up straight away and sleep happily inside the cocoon.

I fall into the first category, fearless and full of energy... Right then I got a call from my wife and rushed back to reality and there ended my class to my younger brother who is going to tie the knot, come November.

Needless to say I left without ordering one for the road.

Disclaimer - These are things I have heard and not experienced for my wife knows my blog url.

Inventions on display

2008-08-09T00:52:00.000-07:00

The first thought that went through my mind as I was watching the opening ceremony of the Olympics was 'Is the one-child policy really working?'

This is not the time to be cynical, it's the Olympics, enjoy the show said my soul and I tried.

From kids passing the flag to the military personals to the graceful moments to the culture that was on show, it was the complete picture of a proud nation. It was hard to make out the human touch from computer graphics, it was picture perfect. 'Modern culture, in a country where there is no difference between computers and people' I thought.

Just enjoy the show said my soul. But within a few minutes my mind took over again.

Four of China's great inventions were on display. As the TV commentator said 'Compass' I was trying to figure out who built the great wall and for what? Restrictions-on-travel would have come free with the compass, I guessed.

He moved on to 'Paper and Printing' and the devil in me asked 'To write and print what is dictated?'

'Gun powder' said the commentator. Now that makes sense, to preserve the other three inventions from generations to come they will certainly need some.

It was grand, it was breathtaking, it was unbelievable. Only China could have put together such a performance, where else will you find so many people.

As I was proudly making fun of China there came the Indian contingent. Major Rathod the flag bearer walked in first, spotting a beard, probably the outcome of a delayed decision on who should carry the flag. Men were dressed-up for the wedding that was to take place after the torch lighting ceremony and women looked as if they were picked up from refugee camps.

At best they looked indecent and together they walked in disunity representing a nation that echoes unity in diversity.

As I was about to hide my head in shame, there she stood, the Italian (the country that invented Italian marble) wife of our former Prime Minister, foreign leader of sovereign India, dressed up in a good looking saree, upholding the tradition of the country that invented the Zero.

Writer's block

2008-08-04T04:52:00.000-07:00

Five posts into my blogging career and I think I am going through a phase that people in our profession call as a writer's block.

Some call it 'disease of the brain' and others 'disease of the soul'. Going by those descriptions I should be ok, technically at least. But, unlike medical blocks, there are no obvious symptoms or lab tests which can confirm a writer's block.

As for a fix, medical-blocks have stents and traffic-blocks have traffic cops (when they are not the ones actually causing the block) but a writer's block has no known cure apart from few not-so-readily available drugs like Ganja, charas, opium, hashish, majoon, marijuana, kif, grass, hemp, pot...which more often than not complicates the problem rather than solving it.

Many writers have stopped breathing waiting for the block to go away, many have ended the block by cutting the oxygen supply themselves.

Some lasts for days, some for months and some lasts for years or decades. I read somewhere that Henry Roth's writer's block persisted for sixty years and was caused by a combination of depression, political problems, and an unwillingness to confront past problems.

My block has a similarity to his, the part which says unwillingness.

My writings are not as good as his, to put it mildly. So, hopefully, my block won't last as long as his.

What's the difference?

2008-07-30T00:53:00.000-07:00

They are bursting bombs like fire crackers in the streets and the security agencies have no clue as to Who is behind these attacks. Why is a question they have long stopped asking.

As of now the only things that can be arrested in connection with the attacks is an email-id and a rough sketch of the bomber, which looks more like a bomb than a man.

News channels have more information than the principal secretary. Of course they will later sell ad slots on a debate named 'How wrong were we?'.

The Prime minister is right, it's all a ploy to disturb the peace. But then, he can only be right, The Left has departed him.

Advani sits there, looking like a defused bomb, still traumatized by those ten cross-votes. Sushma Swaraj yells into the mikes that it's a deliberate attempt to take the nation's eyes off the cash-for-vote scandal.

Sonia Gandhi is in deep shock even though she was nowhere near the blasts. As for a reply to Sushma Swaraj's allegation, we will have to wait for the monsoon session of parliament which will take place next summer.

Narendra Modi, as usual, is calling for peace and calm.

They are firing at each other across the Line-of-Control, a border line drawn between India and Pakistan which no one controls and where everyone is out of control.

People are dying left, right and center (sorry left+Mayawathi, yea right and Congress) and still more crowd around live bombs.

Day before yesterday it was Bangalore, yesterday it was Ahmedabad and today 13 live bombs (and counting) were recovered from Surat. At this rate, tomorrow, India will be the World's largest exporter of defused bombs.

People's choices seems more dangerous than the bombs. And for no reason Frank Costello's words from the movie 'The departed' comes to mind...

"When you decide to be something, you can be it. That's what they don't tell you in the church. When I was your age they would say we can become cops, or criminals. Today, what I'm saying to you is this: when you're facing a loaded gun, what's the difference?"

Anticipatory bail

2008-07-24T01:22:00.000-07:00

I never thought that I would post another post after my first post. To tell you the truth I kind of like it, not because I think I was born to blog but because of the curiosity factor.

After all, finding out how bad you are is not such a bad idea.

It might be dangerous to the readers though. Some might stop reading, some might faint, worse comes to worse my harmless blogs could lead to a heart-attack. But that is a risk I am willing to take.

There is another reason for my decision to continue blogging.

My blog-editor Anil Nair says that there is a science behind the art of writing and I love science. Starting from my school days I always fancied science teachers and secretly dreamt that one day, I will find out why the apple falls to the ground instead of going up.

I even married a math teacher last year because they told me that without math there is no science. Time will prove if my calculation was right.

As for people who read my blog, God, I leave them to you if my blogging does not lead them to you.

To ask or not to ask

2008-07-23T01:54:00.000-07:00

When it became certain that I will be staring at cloths for the next 45 minutes I decided to rack-shop at the dollar-store next door. I knew the gravity of my decision but like a somnambulist I trudged off without telling my wife.

20 minutes later, passing through the counter with no purchase in hand I asked the young man behind the counter why everything was priced at 99 rupees when the dollar was going down the oil barrel? "Same reason why you don't get executed at the China shoppe for asking questions, Next please" was his reply. The somnambulist in me woke up again.

When I got back, my wife was standing in front of the shop, parked on the wrong side of emotions, steam coming out of her ears. "How dare you leave me alone" she shouted. I looked around and saw ten thousand people cramped into a small street. Before I could say anything she said "Don't say it" and started to walk. I followed

The punishment for my wandering was swift but it came as no surprise to me. I hate KFC and my wife knows that so she walked straight into one.

Colonel sanders was everywhere, sticker-ed to the door, to the wall, to the floor. Not growing any older and chuckling at the abundance of idiots, happily paying five times the market price for a chicken leg.

"Finger Lickin' Good" enounced the girl behind the counter, sporting an artificial smile. "No it's unhealthy" I said and she pointed towards the first word in the ad. I turned away quietly .

As we walked up to the dining hall carrying the burden we bought I remarked "The Americans are away teaching democracy to people with oil under their feet and we are making them richer. Why can't we eat somewhere else?.

"Same reason why you went into the dollar store while I was shopping" She shot back. Why I saw that coming was purely because of experience.

That was it I decided. "You take years to select a brown shawl for your brown dress!" I thundered, in a low voice without looking at her.

"But I am never as destructive as the Americans" she said calmly. I started to lick my finger.

Accidents do happen even if the brakes are functioning well.

Blame it on the system

2008-07-21T00:02:00.001-07:00

"I am shocked and surprised because I was extra cautious and never used any banned substances," "I don't know what to do. I will decide the next course of action only after consultation with my lawyer." - Asif

All the effort put into beating the system since failing the dope test in 2006 has yielded nothing. I don't know about you but I feel sad when hard work does not pay off. One day, young cricketers would have looked up and said, 'there goes Asif, the man who taught the sports world how to pill through a dope test'.

It is clearly a case of Asif being a victim of the system and lack of research funds, no doubt.

A system that conducts random tests when there is more than enough space on the net to publish a list of testees for the next ten thousand years. Have they even heard about SMS?.

In a land where people pick up tennis rackets within 24 hours of a heart transplant, the dope stays inside for 72 hours and a tournament that encourages spectators to get high but cokes down on the ones working hard, out there in the middle. How absurd!

They make billions in TV rights and question a cautious man's basic right to fuel up for the show.

How can someone so careful test positive for a banned substance that one did not consume?.

Thank God for technicalities

How it all began

2008-07-18T04:57:00.000-07:00

Preface - In loving memory of Anil mobile Nair, who, like all of us will die one day.

They say everything started with a big bang.

4.5 billion years, a painful walk from ape to man and a lot of bandwidth later came the bloggers.

There was never a blogger in me. I believe in one-liners.

When a friend of mine for arguments sake said that the bloggers are calling for 'free market quota' in India, I decided to... have another large.

Next day (different friends, different table, same rum) I found out that I am the last person in this planet without a blog.

Afraid that the aliens might take me away, I started one.